There are certain rules that should be followed by every visitor to a home with a new baby. Simple but effective, they will serve to help the new Mumma in her new duties more than you could possibly imagine.
First and foremost, you should only visit to see the new arrival if you are going to help out in some way whilst you are there. A visitor who is just going to sit and ogle the baby is neither helpful to mum nor baby! The only exception to this is cuddling baby so mum can take a shower, dry her hair and put on a fresh set of clothes. We will allow that :) Bonus Point - remember to wish your hands first before holding baby.
Do not expect new mum to get you a cup of tea and biscuits and under no circumstances should you expect a full blown meal. Grab a snack or two or your way over for you both, and make the tea yourself when you get there. Go one step further and bake a healthy meal or two to take round for the freezer if you’re feeling extra generous. Bonus point - baking a cake to take round would make you an absolute hero.
If you can see mum is struggling with breast-feeding do not just sit and stare at her boobs and the baby. If you have breastfed your own baby and you have some helpful advice you may offer this but if you cannot offer anything helpful at that stage then simply busy yourself with something useful in another room. If mum is bottle feeding or she has expressed her own milk make sure you offer to feed the baby yourself if you are comfortable to. Bonus point - phone a lactation consultant on her behalf if mum wants you to and is struggling with breastfeeding, or organise a postpartum doula.
Talking of busying yourself with something useful in another room; washing the dishes, doing some ironing, taking the rubbish out - anything that will save mum having to do this herself will be a godsend.
Don’t bring flowers! These will just take up space and create another job for mum when they die off. Buy something useful - some food, tea, nappies, bath salts etc would go down a treat.
Offer to do a supermarket shop - she can send you a list. Bring the shop over and put it away in the kitchen for her.
Don’t overstay your welcome, mum will probably want a nap at some point or just to be able to chill and read/watch tv/stare at baby by herself for a bit - an hour is probably long enough when baby is just a few weeks old.
Take the baby out for a walk so mum can have an hour to herself. Baby can have some fresh air and is likely to then sleep a little better too! If mum has other children and/or a dog perhaps you can take them out too? Bonus Point - perhaps you can pick siblings up from school for mum occasionally if you live nearby.
Mum will take loads of photos of her new baby but sometimes it’s nice to have some with her in them that aren’t awkward angle selfies! Offer to take a few and send them over to her.
Only bring positive vibes! Tell mum she’s doing a fantastic job, listen to her worries and complaints without judgement. If you’ve had babies before put mum at ease with some helpful advice, if she’s asked for it.